Today Paul and I stopped what we were doing several times to just thank God for His mercy. Not the quiet little “thank you.” I’m talking arms in the air and BIG praise.
Katy finally fell into a deep sleep this morning around 5AM and slept until 10AM in a chair. For most of the night she writhed in pain radiating from her spine into her legs. Paul and I tried everything to comfort her but there was no comfort and no comfortable position. She begged for pain meds but I had already given her the limit for her weight. Paul and I prayed over her for hours until at last we were just silent and had no words left, only groaning. Meanwhile, Katy cried for hours. At 5AM she asked to be taken to a chair to sleep upright. Sometime between 5AM and 10AM there was a healing that took place. I was sleeping on the couch across from the chair she was in and I woke up at 10AM to see her in a deep relaxed sleep. I was almost afraid to wake her for her morning medicines. She opened her eyes, smiled, and said, “The pain is gone!” Her fever was gone. Throughout the day her ability to walk around and move without pain improved steadily. Maybe the three doses of Cipro have something to do with this improvement, but we are grateful to God for once again carrying us through a hard night. I am hoping that she will soon be able to write herself, because she has so much more to share than we do.
Several weeks ago during one of her hospital stays I was singing old hymns to Katy. I sang the words “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.” That was as far as I got because I started to cry. She dried my tears with her hands and said, “It’s OK mom, I understand why you are crying.” I’ve sung that song many times but I realized that I didn’t really mean it. Could I say, “Cause her to suffer if that is Your will?” I could not. In spite of all He has done for me, I recognize that I hold back from freely giving. It has been a tremendous step forward in my walk with Him to see with my eyes the reality of Katy’s suffering, and say with my mouth, “He will redeem this, in this life or the next; I trust Him.”