Thursday, April 24, 2008

Time

One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life, that's the name of the new best seller on Amazon. It must be a topic that many people are pondering judging by the number of book sales. After Kathryn's diagnosis and first hospitalization, Paul and I had some heart-to-heart talks about how we were living our lives. I was making plans for an empty nest and had just taken Kathryn on a tour of colleges to look at graduate programs. Paul was working fourteen hour days and Saturdays. We barely had time to celebrate being a family. As a result of facing the seriousness of Kathryn's condition we set about to make some changes. We are taking time to celebrate life. Several times lately when we have been out with the girls, listening to them giggling in the back seat, Paul has taken my hand or I have taken his and one of us will say, "no regrets." We haven't read the book, but I think we could have written it. Time is precious. Decisions we make about investing our time are better.

Paul is in the process of selling his business and has taken a job to free him up on evenings and weekends, and life on the merry-go-round as we knew it has come to a stop. Paul has commented on how much fun it is to just be home in the evening. We had forgotten how nice it was when the kids were small to sit on the porch with a cup of coffee to watch them play. Tonight I watched from the window while Kathryn and Qavah were playing on the swings in the yard as the sun was setting. Life is now moments like these.

Kathryn has made a decision not to attend her graduation ceremony in May. There are several reasons for that and I will leave it to her to elaborate on her blog. But I was thinking about the times we have sat through long speeches looking at our watches wondering, " How much longer will this last?" Kathryn has no desire to take a day out of her life to sit through another speech. Her life is now made up of moments. I woke up and heard the gentle strum of her harp at three o'clock this morning and smiled, knowing she was simply enjoying the moments she was awake in the middle of the night.

Many friends and family have asked, "How are you going to celebrate Kathryn's graduation?" We talked about that with Kathryn and she came to the conclusion that it would bless her the most if friends sent their good wishes by mail and stayed home to make memories with their own families. A graduation is a marker of progress. We are so proud of Kathryn for setting a goal to finish college and not give up on her dreams. But we are most proud of the way she lives her life with intention. She is the tool that God has used in our lives to carve away our busy-ness and replace it with moments of joy. God bless you, Kathryn, and may our lives together be filled with "no regrets."