The Gas Pump

The girls are doing very well.  We took them to Sam's Club with us this evening to shop and restock our cupboards.  My gas gauge revealed the need to stop at the gas pumps before we left Sam's, so Paul got out to pump the gas.  The girls and I sat in the warmth of the car while Paul stood there in the miserable cold doing a little dance to keep warm.  

Watching Paul fill the gas tank reminded me of the year we were married.  Paul pumped gas at a filling station near our apartment to make enough money to pay for his train ticket into Philadelphia, where he was finishing his education.  Back in "those days", people pulled up to the gas pump and the gas station attendant filled the car for you, washed the bugs off the windshield, and even checked the oil.  Here in Virginia I've since learned to pump my own gas, but it sure was nice tonight to have Paul jump out of the car to do that for me.  When he got back into the car I told him that pumping gas for me was as good as getting a love note from him.  It was dark, but I'm pretty sure I made him smile.

Red Cells to the Rescue

Qavah's veins were difficult to find today.  Her hemoglobin count was so low that her veins were flat.  She looked so small and frail on the hospital gurney.  After three unsuccessful tries to place the IV line I picked my tearful girl up in my arms and the nurse tried a fourth time.  Qavah's head was buried in my shirt while she cried, "Mama no..."  I stood there with tears running down my face begging, "God please...."  My heart's desire is for a miracle for Qavah.  I'm not ashamed to beg for a remission.  The fourth try worked, and after a full bag of red cells, we are home, and Qavah is busy playing again as though it was a just a minor interruption to have to go to the hospital today.  Maybe the miracle is that Qavah finds comfort in my arms, that she is willing to submit to her medical care, or that she still loves to smile and laugh, but I'm believing God for so much more.

I read some things about faith this evening and found these words of encouragement. Jesus said that if we have faith, even if it’s of the tiniest size, we can command the mountains to move, and they will obey us. Therefore, it is clear that faith is not really a matter of its size or quantity. Instead, it is the size of the One in Whom we put our faith that makes all the difference. 

Red Cells to the Rescue

Qavah's veins were difficult to find today.  Her hemoglobin count was so low that her veins were flat.  She looked so small and frail on the hospital gurney.  After three unsuccessful tries to place the IV line I picked my tearful girl up in my arms and the nurse tried a fourth time.  Qavah's head was buried in my shirt while she cried, "Mama no..."  I stood there with tears running down my face begging, "God please...."  My heart's desire is for a miracle for Qavah.  I'm not ashamed to beg for a remission.  The fourth try worked, and after a full bag of red cells, we are home, and Qavah is busy playing again as though it was a just a minor interruption to have to go to the hospital today.  Maybe the miracle is that Qavah finds comfort in my arms, that she is willing to submit to her medical care, or that she still loves to smile and laugh, but I'm believing God for so much more.

I read some things about faith this evening and found these words of encouragement. Jesus said that if we have faith, even if it’s of the tiniest size, we can command the mountains to move, and they will obey us. Therefore, it is clear that faith is not really a matter of its size or quantity. Instead, it is the size of the One in Whom we put our faith that makes all the difference. 

Sabbath Sundown

A few minutes ago we had our family prayer time to close out the Sabbath Day.  We prayed for our family and friends, and for God's mercy with the hard things happening in the world today.  Although we love having that time together, it means the end of the Sabbath Day and beginning of the work week.  Since Monday is trash day on our street,  Paul's first task is to take the garbage out to the road for pick up.  I get Qavah's clothes ready for her Monday morning trip to the lab for blood work, and Kathryn looks at the calendar to remind us of all the weekly appointments.  With a twinge of sadness, I have to admit that I wish Sundays were a few hours longer. 

"Sunday is the golden clasp that binds together the volume of the week." 
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Airline Tracker

I typed in the airline name and flight number of Paul's plane on my computer and followed his flight from Sweden to Chicago today.  Once he landed in Chicago he had just enough time to trade in his ticket for a flight leaving in thirty-five minutes.  He made a dash for the gate, got on the flight, and was home in time for dinner.  I watched his plane land in Roanoke, via computer, and remembered back to the days Paul traveled without a cell phone with no way to contact me at times.  Technology has certainly made it easier on families to stay in touch while traveling.  We used our computer to Skype in the evenings, so that Qavah would see and talk to her Daddy once a day.  Paul told me that one of his colleagues plays computer games with his children when he travels and has to be away from home.

Paul and I were able to keep in touch, too.  I have a new cell phone and I have joined the rest of the world in using text messaging.  I left Paul messages from time to time just letting him know about our day back in Roanoke.  While it is true that we are all busier and going different directions these days, technology has made it possible to keep close in mind and heart with those we love.  I'm sure the early settlers were proud of the Pony Express, but I'm mighty thankful for the ability to type a note, click "send", and have a reply in a matter of minutes.  Oh my; I just realized that I have reached the age when I am beginning to say things like, "I remember back in the days when..."  When my parents and grandparents did that I thought they were so old.  I guess I have arrived!

Business and Pleasure

Paul is in the air flying over the Atlantic Ocean and I can follow his flight on my computer.  He should land in Sweden by morning our time, and Lord willing, he will be back home again by the end of the week.  Before he left, we went over the plan should the heating system fail, and he used the pill grinder to grind the next four days worth of Qavah's morning medication.  We both had our check lists of things that had to be done before he left, and now he is in flight while I am here at home with the girls.  

Paul Burton had the day off so he took all of us girls to see the movie Tangled.  That is the delightful tale of Rapunzel as only Disney can tell it.  Qavah has the most wonderful laugh, and understands the humorous parts of a story.  When the audience laughed, Qavah's laughter could be heard above the rest.  It was great to be out having fun today.  Kathryn is feeling so much better that she is back to thinking about job searching again, but taking time out for a movie was a good tonic.

This past Sunday our sermon centered around the sanctity of life.  As the minister spoke about the future of genetic testing, he told the youth of our church that theirs will be the generation to decide whether or not the aged and disabled will be allowed to live.  I thought about Kathryn and Qavah sitting beside me, and the life they have been able to live because someone decided they were worth it.  Paul and I can never forget that our family is what it is today because our daughters were given the gift of life.  We thank God for that reminder each year on Sanctity of Life Sunday.  Their laughter in the theater today would have been absent otherwise.  

The Spanish cellist Pablo Casals wrote “The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.” Isaiah 49 :1 states, "Before I was born the LORD called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name."  No matter how little value our society places on human life, no matter how frail that life may be, it is God Who determined its worth, and He thought we were all worth dying for.

Colin's Birthday

Pictured below is our oldest son, Colin, jacking up his "car" to fix some imaginary problem.  In the background his Daddy is fixing one of our old cars, and I suppose Colin thought fixing something would give him that grown-up edge.  This was one of the pictures I found while cleaning out a closet recently.  The picture at the end of the post was taken about 13 years later while Colin worked on his real car after becoming a man, with man-size responsibilities. Raising a son to accept responsibility, to take care of the things that belong to him, and to turn to God for wisdom each day, is laying the foundation for a life of good stewardship.   By the grace of God, Colin is now 33 years old and using all of those acquired skills to raise a family of his own. Happy Birthday, Colin.

May he face life's problems

as he faced

his broken bike

when he was small

working til he traced

each problem to its source,

and fixed it; all

was a challenge he'd accept

with curiosity and then

work night and day.

What's losing sleep when

interest is involved?

Hobby or problem

he never turned it loose

til it was solved.

Now,

he's a man.

And man-sized problems

stare him in the face.

Interested or not,

Lord,

give him grace.

As this is a problem tough,

and not a toy,

so, too, he is a man now,

Lord---

not a boy.

Yet in the boy he once was

I can see

delightful glimpses

of the man he would be. ~ Ruth Bell Graham

Home Health Care

Sometimes I do wonder "why" Kathryn has been given such a hard road to travel.  I wondered "why" last week when her inflammation symptoms began to reappear.  I did beg God for some answers to my "whys".  Today, I can honestly say that two very good things happened as a result of this flare-up.  This time, Kathryn's doctor made a decision to start IV Rocephin right away before waiting until her symptoms put her in the hospital.  He also ordered the medication to be given through a new home health care group that we have not had before.  This home health care group has given Kathryn the very best care, not just because of their professionalism, but by the way they have treated her with kindness and respect.

Kathryn's lymph glands along her neck are less swollen, her scalp is improving, and the feeling is returning to her hands and feet.  The list of medications Kathryn has to take to keep her body stable is growing.  While some of her medications have adverse side effects, they are working well, and we are very thankful for that. During the time she has been feeling so bad, Kathryn has been scanning pictures to store on DVDs.

While I have been cleaning closets, I have unpacked two very large storage boxes of family pictures, and have begun to make each of my children a scrapbook photo album.  I have 37 years of pictures and memories in those boxes and have just finished Colin's album in time for his birthday this week.  It has been a pleasure to look at those pictures, and to remember all of us growing up together.  We are still growing up, and growing in grace, but those early pictures help me to remember that the same God who gave us life, is continuing to guide us; giving us a future and a hope.  

Colin age 10, Paul Burton 6, Kathryn 4:

Home and Health

Yesterday, Kathryn's neurologist determined that her nerve endings were somehow being agitated by inflammation.  The pain and tingling in her legs and arms had gotten to the point that she couldn't function well.  The home health care people were contacted and by last night she was being given a course of antibiotics by IV right here at home.  If the treatments work as they have in the past, Kathryn should be feeling much better in a few days.  We are thankful for the swift intervention and help that Kathryn has received with this flare-up, and sincerely pray that these treatments will correct the problems she is having.

Paul and I have been wearing our comfortable lounge suits most of the day.  We are ready, more than ready, to embrace the sweetness of a Sabbath rest.  "Come all you who are weary and heavy laden" and He (our God) will give you rest, because He has promised. Matthew 11:28

Mushy Scalp...Again

Kathryn asked Paul to check her head yesterday, and sure enough, she is getting a large mushy place on her scalp again.  She is starting to feel the same tingling in her feet and hands that she had a few months ago.  She has an appointment with her neurologist in the morning, and she is hoping he can figure this out before she lands in the hospital again.  There is no mistaking her symptoms.  Her head has some sort of fluid in the tissue, it is painful, and so far, there is no medical explanation for it.  She has contacted some research teams in the hopes that one of them will at least take a look at her this year. 

Other than that concern, we had a good day, and we are accomplishing some of our New Year's goals in the area of organization.  It is a pleasant thing to be able to look into a closet and know what is there and what isn't.  Just to clear away things that are no longer needed, and let go of things that aren't important, is liberating.  While the snakes and stinging insects are frozen, Paul intends to do the same kind of cleaning in the barn.  I ran across another poem by Ruth Graham to ponder as I clean out and let go of "stuff."

Let them go
the things that have 
accumulated through the years.
If they are only things
then let them go.
Like barnacles
they but impede the ship
and slow it down
when it should go
full speed ahead.
Why dread the disentangling?
Does the snake
mourn the shedding 
of its skin?
When the butterfly escapes
its chrysalis,
does regret
set in?

(From the book of poetry, Footprints of a Pilgrim page 227)

Hopes and more Hope

Happy New year.  This is my first post written in 2011.  We had a quiet evening on December 31, and went to bed early because we were tired.  We didn't have guests, and we didn't stay up late to shout, "Happy New Year."  As a result, we didn't have a hard time getting up early on January first.  On the first day of January, we set some business goals, set some personal goals, and ate leftovers.  We started the new year off refreshed.  We've let go of some traditions that have outlived their usefulness.

I have a list of the dreams I hope to see come true this year, and at the top of the list is better days for Kathryn and Qavah.  I hope they will feel healthy and strong, and that Kathryn may even find another job that makes her feel like she is contributing to the world.  I hope that our family continues to trust God in the disappointments in life, as well as for dreams that will come true.  Most of all, I hope my family will grow to love God in practical ways, by looking for ways to be His hands and His heart to a needy world.  I have the hope that this is going to be a year of joyful surprises for our family.   I hope our family and friends feel the same; this is going to be a special year.

 
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  Isaiah 43:19