The "to do" List

Both girls have been healthy enough to do a little shopping and helping around the house. We were getting ready for company today and expect my friend Helen to come and stay with us this week. There were several things we needed to do to prepare. Working together, we accomplished many of them. The house is clean, the laundry finished, the lawn is mowed, and we are closing in on our Sabbath rest feeling elated as we have scratched many tasks off our list. We've had some wonderful answers to prayer for our friends this week, and we now pause to take this day of rest and consider how God will hold the entire universe together without our help.

For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord. Ex. 31:15

Qavah's Needs

After almost a year in Roanoke, Qavah's body is still being maintained by monthly blood transfusions. However, since her pancreas is not functioning well she is not able to grow and put on weight. For her digestive problems I have been giving her amylase and lipase as directed with every meal for the last month. Yet her levels are still low and her GI specialist told me today that we need to approach this problem with a new plan. The problem with Qavah's situation is the same as Kathryn's. Until there is an absolute diagnosis through test results, treatment is not even discussed. But every test has been inconclusive. Her physicians here agree she needs help but scratch their heads and tell me I need to find someone who knows more about these problems. Qavah's need for a treatment plan is greater now than it was a year ago. I have been researching the available treatments and research protocols when I find them, but so far nothing has transpired. We're willing to do whatever we can to help Qavah thrive. But we need your prayers most of all.

The last time we were in this position we asked our friends and family to pray. We had been looking to the National Institutes of Health for help, and specialists, and help was just not there. I remember so well the nights I prayed as David did, "Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord." Then through a series of well-timed mishaps at one hospital, and help from one of our blog readers, we found Kathryn's new medical team, and the friendships and support we needed. Now we need the same for Qavah. Although we would go anywhere in the world for her, there may be the help we need right in our own back yard. We are waiting on God to show us the path to walk with our little Qavah and pray that we will find it soon. Her name means "hope and patience." It is very appropriate.

Boldness to do the opposite

While we were preparing for the big birthday party last weekend I observed Qavah crawling into her rocking chair with her blanket and pacifier a time or two. I also noticed her raising her arms up, asking to be held whenever she wanted to go upstairs. A quick look at the calendar led me to the conclusion that first thing Monday morning I would need to take her for labs. I did that and got a call later in the day from the pediatric hematology department with an appointment for a transfusion. I am learning to read the signs of a low red cell count and that helps me respond with more confidence. It had only been four weeks since the last transfusion but Qavah was in need of another one and the signs were there. Qavah took it all in stride.

Sometimes in life we are given an opportunity to observe the way someone else lives and we can choose to do the opposite. Not to judge another, but to make a judgment based on the desire for a better outcome. An example of that was seen Monday at the lab where Qavah goes for her blood draws. A little girl about a year or so older than Qavah was waiting ahead of us for her tests. When her name was called she walked through the lab door and began screaming before the door shut. The little girl had four adults holding her down while she screamed as though her toe nails were being ripped out. Kathryn and I didn't have much sympathy for her because her high drama was traumatizing the next patient; Qavah. Qavah looked at me aghast and I started laughing, which made her laugh! Then Kathryn joined in and we could not stop. I was glad we were the only ones left in the waiting room. The screaming was over-the-top even for a drama queen. Qavah soon started shaking her head saying, "She's not brave!" Then we laughed even harder since that was an understatement. When the door to the lab opened I expected to see a poor tortured soul emerge. Instead, the same little girl skipped out of the door asking her mother if she could push the button for the elevator, while the four nurses left behind looked like they needed the rest of the day off.

Qavah looked puzzled by that, but she was next so I smiled at her and said, "Go in there and show the nurses how a brave girl gives blood!" After what she had just witnessed she put her little shoulders back, marched in, and held out her arm without flinching. It was over in seconds without a whimper and she received high praise and a lot of stickers. Qavah told me today on the way to the hospital that she was going to be brave whenever she gets "stuck" and she was true to her word when her IV line was placed.

You've probably heard the phrase, "observe the masses and do the opposite." Sometimes it just takes one little observation in the handling of a daily event to be able to state, "This is how I will handle it!" Qavah did that. Now it is up to us to teach her about Who it is that gave her the strength and wisdom to make such a good decision.

A Whale of Birthday Dinner

As Mom was scooping out her serving of fruit salad from the watermelon-whale she said, "This is a whale of a meal!" We enjoyed our afternoon at Mom and Dad's and especially had fun watching the children. Jacquelyn took Nehemiah in her arms for the first time and asked, "It all comes back like it was yesterday doesn't it?" Mom and Dad's five children managed to have their children all about the same time. The grandchildren grew up together and there was always a lot of activity and a baby or two at holiday gatherings. A gathering at their house now means there are lots of young adults who enjoy playing card games, and we don't have to check up on them anymore if things get quiet. When they were little, the cousins would run around outdoors until sundown and the drive home would be very quiet as one by one they fell asleep. They always loved their time at their grandparents'.

Now the great-grandbabies are coming along and the same is true for them. Annelise ran around with Qavah most of the afternoon. She waved good-bye to everyone tonight at sundown dressed in her pajamas in preparation for falling asleep in her car seat on the way back to Roanoke. A new generation has begun to experience growing up with Granddaddy and Grandmom. We're grateful that Mom and Dad Campbell are still able to have us all over and watch a new generation grow. Happy birthday to both of them!

On Saturday, Paul Burton carved a watermelon-whale as Qavah looked on.

While scooping out the insides, Paul Burton told us about certain surgeries he has observed. You don't want to hear about it. Trust me.

The eyeball socket was carved with an apple corer.

Kathryn found the old jar of big marbles from their childhood for the eyes.

The blow hole has a spray of fresh baby's breath coming out of it. It was then filled with fresh fruit to take to Grandmom and Granddaddy's house. We brought the "empty" whale home tonight. Tomorrow it will float in the bathtub with a small male doll from the doll house inside the belly while I tell Qavah the story of Jonah again!

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad!

Party Preparations

We are busy this morning with baking and preparations for our family party tomorrow. Kathryn had some problems with indigestion during the night but woke up feeling better. Paul was up early and went to the men's breakfast that our church holds for men once a month. The invitation boasts, "Get more bacon than you are allowed to have at home!" Kathryn and I are invited to an afternoon tea and baby shower at Lizi's home and couldn't be happier about that. It's a day packed full of blessing. I'm sure we'll have some pictures later. All is well.

Waffles and Blueberries

We have a little diner near our home that makes breakfast all day long. They just have a few specials and fresh waffles is one of them. On the way home from Kathryn's Remicade treatment she said she was ready to eat something and thought a waffle sounded good. Half of it was eaten immediately and the other half is in the refrigerator for later. Qavah and Kathryn sat across from me in a little booth and enjoyed their waffles. I was watching them and feeling thankful that they are able to enjoy simple pleasures.

After the waffle stop we went shopping for birthday candles and fruit for the celebration of our parents' birthdays this weekend. We have been making plans with the family and it appears that most of us in the area will be able to join them for an afternoon to celebrate their "plenty-ninth" birthdays. We'll do that with good food, good music, and cameras to capture some happy moments. We are thankful for their good health and wish them many more years of happiness.

Holding

Today was a relatively good day. Kathryn was using her creativity to make cards today. It was not a good day for eating, so she has been staying away from the kitchen. She is two days from her Remicade treatment. We are enjoying peaceful days.

Checking the Calendar

We are busy living life. Kathryn had an appointment this morning then rested for the afternoon. Qavah went into the creek this afternoon with her friend Emily to pretend she was making dinner. She collected small pebbles, grass, and water in a bucket. Then she began to stir it with a stick that floated past her. She made what looked like a high fiber breakfast drink and was quite proud of herself. I have had several projects to work on but I am keeping one eye on the calendar. Remicade brings Kathryn so much relief that I can hardly wait for Thursday morning. I know how much better she will feel so I find myself wishing I could speed up the time for her.

These have been good days. I am enjoying the things I see and wonder why I haven't stood back in life and watched more. Observing Qavah at play has helped her, too. I am never far away when she says, "mommy look at me!" I'm happy to be able to say, "Yes, Qavah, I'm watching."

Sundown on the Sabbath

As the sun rises on the Sabbath day our house is teaming with activity. Showers, dress clothes, cologne, and hair dryers humming, are all a part of the sights, sounds, and smells of a Sunday morning. Preparing for worship sets Sunday apart from the other days of the week. By nine-thirty, after a flurry of activity, the dog is curled up in her basket ready for a few hours to herself as we pull out of the drive to attend church. This isn't a ritual or tradition. It is an event that changes our perspective after a long work week. Time spent thinking about Someone greater than ourselves, and worshiping Him for His sovereignty over all things, puts the small things in this life into a proper place.

If you read the blog and don't attend church on Sundays you may wonder what is so special about church. In some churches the building, seating, and worship music are not always the best. Churches are also filled with sinful selfish people. But the idea of a "place of worship" was God's. He was the first and only One Who made a place on earth for His glory to dwell. He knew our souls needed a place to go to find rest, to grow in knowledge of Him, and learn how to forgive and get along with others. For our family, our church has been an anchor in a stormy sea. This morning we sang some beautiful songs about the God Who loves and cares for us each day. Our thoughts were turned toward Him and His power over sin and death.

At sundown, Kathryn is four days away from Remicade and beginning to suffer. Her pancreas is causing her some problems and after two days of trying baby food it is apparent that she will have to stop eating again. We are especially grateful tonight for the time invested this morning in church. It gave us a spiritual lift to see us through to Thursday.

Perfect Weather

We've had some strong thunderstorms lately. The air was heavy with humidity at the beginning of the week making it hard to think clearly. People looked withered by the high temperatures and humidity as they went about their daily tasks. Linda and I have had to walk after the sun went down and things cooled off. But the strong winds have blown in cooler weather. This morning the sky and atmosphere are very clear. The temperature is cool and the hazy humidity has lifted. I woke up energized. Kathryn and Qavah are sleeping in. I just checked in with them and their faces are calm and peaceful. Their bodies are at rest and their souls are being comforted by their sleep. What a great start to the day to see them looking so well.

No one wakes up one morning and says, "I think I'll volunteer for two years of struggle and uncertainty." But the rewards are there. We've experienced God's faithfulness. As we have made our way through the physical and emotional minefield of learning how to treat HPS symptoms, I've found gratitude is never far away from me. Happiness is not elusive. Joy can be found in the simple unfolding of a day. I'm on a second cup of coffee as the sun is filtering through the little birch trees outside my kitchen window. Every now and then a soft breeze whispers through the branches and the sunlight and shadows appear to be dancing on the green lawn below. My soul is quiet. Our home is quiet. I'm sitting here smiling.

"Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits." Psalm 103:2

Laundry Day

I once wrote about shopping day, and how rich I felt when the cupboards were full. Today I was feeling rich again and thought it was worth mentioning. I feel rich when all the laundry is done. I open my sock drawer and don't have to hunt for socks to wear with my walking shoes. I feel rich when I've decide to go out to the store and I run to the closet to change and find everything clean with plenty of outfits suitable to match my mood or the weather. I love when I put a huge folded stack of underwear in my husband's drawer and he says, "Wow, thanks for doing the laundry; I was getting down to the last pair!"

It is wonderful to be a homemaker and make so many people happy with the littlest things. And it is really nice when some of that happiness is reserved for the homemaker. Tonight when I pull the clean sheets up to my nose I'll think about the folded clothes in the drawers and thank God for the fun of home-making. The dryer was set on "normal" all day and that is how it has been around here; everyone healthy, everything normal, and I for one am grateful to be able to write about it.

I'll leave you with a quote I found on a website called Quotes from the Laundry Room. "Now and then it is good to pause in our pursuit of happiness to just be happy."

The Most Important Thing

Today was fun. Having children in the house is just plain fun. A birthday party was enjoyed by all. The Hebrew National Hot Dogs and French fries were a good choice. Qavah's happiness spilled over to all of us and we enjoyed her special day right along with her. Our social worker called yesterday, and added to our joy is the news that our adoption papers have been filed with the court and we are awaiting the final decree any day now.

There are many things we hope for Qavah. We hope her blood disorder will be put into remission. We hope she will enjoy her musical talent. We hope she will embrace her new life with us. But most of all we pray that she will follow Christ. He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life. If everything else comes together for her but her heart does not embrace His love for her, she would miss out on the greatest treasure ever offered. We pray that for the rest of her life she will seek truth, dignity, forgiveness, and blessing. She will find all those things in Him. Happy Birthday, Qavah!

Qavah the Dishwasher

I have been giving Qavah little jobs to do to keep her busy today. She cleaned out the lint trap on the dryer and played with the fuzz while I did laundry. Recently she has been volunteering to rinse all the dishes before they go into the dishwasher. She loves that job. Of course it means playing in the water, but she really likes to do it and it helps get the job done. She seems very proud of herself and reminded me five minutes ago that she is turning five tomorrow.

In this past year she has made some major strides toward maturity. I have said so many times, "Kids grow up so fast!" It is especially true as they approach school age. Try as we might to hang on to Qavah's preschool years, she is now counting, pretending to read, helping with chores, getting her shoes on the right feet, and asking to "learn how to tie shoes." If time flies by any faster she'll be asking permission to go on a date soon. Paul said the same thing about Qavah that he says about Kathryn. "When she's thirty I'll think about it!"

Birthday Preparations

We learned with our first three children how easy it is to overly bless them on their birthdays. I'm trying to keep the birthday celebration for Qavah reasonable. She has been waking up every day asking if her birthday is here yet. In the meantime she is dreaming about her cake and gifts. I have been reading her a book about a little bear that gets too much attention for her birthday and becomes overwhelmed by all the things that happen on that day. The book is actually called, Too Much Birthday. But just as the Lord longs to bless us, we feel the same about blessing Qavah and can't seem to help ourselves.

I went to the pharmacy for Kathryn today and the pharmacist asked how things were going with the new liquid Prednisolone. When I told her how great Kathryn was feeling she seemed very excited for us and said, "Good, I hope this is a new trend!" We do too because we have a birthday to celebrate.

Birthday French Fries

It was a treat to be in church this morning together. We haven't been able to do that in quite awhile. Both girls were feeling well this morning so we were able to worship and feel the joy of being a part of corporate worship again. It is refreshment for the soul.

While shopping with Qavah recently, I asked if she would like anything special for her upcoming birthday lunch. As the first three kids have done before her, she was given the opportunity to choose what she would like to have on her special day. Qavah, sitting in the grocery cart smiled really big and said, "I want some French fries!" So naturally my next question was, "What else?" She brightened again and stated, "hot dogs!" So this is a warning to Grandmom and Granddaddy, and all her big brothers and sisters who will attend her birthday lunch on Friday. You may need some antacids.

Looking Up

I don't know when the phrase "things are looking up" came into being. But it does seem to describe our human condition when the events of our lives look promising and positive, doesn't it? The problem is that "things" that happen in our lives don't always turn out positive and wonderful. Sometimes "things" are just plain hard; our gaze and our hearts can be downcast. At times like that, I have a saying that makes Paul laugh, but you may be able to relate. "I was so down today I had to look up to see my socks!"

While "things" hadn't been looking up for us lately, we have been looking up. Martha reminded me in the last post through Psalm 84 that if our hearts are set on pilgrimage, the journey we are on becomes temporary. Keeping in mind that we are pilgrims here means that we are just passing through this world and it is not our final home. Whatever the trial, whatever the task, it is light and momentary compared to eternity and peace with God. As we have been looking up, praying, and living by faith, "things" have turned around. Kathryn and Qavah are looking and feeling so much better. I'll leave you with one of my favorite pictures taken recently. When "things" aren't looking up; we can look up, and with David we can say, " I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121: 1-2

Rainy Day

Today was rainy. Since I've had a garden in the past, I know how a steady rain in July can bring on the produce. I am hoping to find some good homegrown fruits and vegetables at the local market as a result. Tomorrow I'll take Kathryn to the endocrinologist and I'm praying he can help relieve her symptoms which have been going on since our return from Arizona. An electrolyte imbalance is a challenge. If you look at the symptom list after typing in "electrolyte imbalance" or "low sodium" on Google, you'll know how to pray.

July 4th Celebration

Over the past two days we've had a picnic with friends, some family time with Dan, Julie, Sandra and Joshua, and some much needed rest. All have been wonderful. Kathryn's electrolytes are still very unpredictable so she has stayed close to her room and is sleeping a lot. This afternoon we settled back to watch the movie, "Bella." It has a sweet story line of redemption and the love of family. We had such a good time. Although it was nothing spectacular we were all at home and grateful for the time together. We hope your Independence Day celebration was just as delightful. In spite of the price of gasoline, we are a blessed people!

Wednesday Night

It's late but I wanted to write a quick update. Things are remarkably better today. Doubling Kathryn's dose of Prednisone has helped her tremendously. It is amazing how much better she feels. I am interested to know what the endocrinologist thinks is going on. His solution did work very well.

I have a friend, Helen, visiting from Ohio and she will be here through tomorrow. She and her husband moved to Ohio to be near their children while her husband's health was failing. Last week he finished his race here on earth. Helen came back to Roanoke where there will be a funeral service tomorrow. Then she will head back to Ohio. I am grateful for the guest room and for the privilege of taking care of Helen.

Big Brother

Last night about ten o'clock I got a call from the operating room at RMH. A nurse named Rachael was on the line and my heart started racing. I had to stiffle the statement, "Is anything wrong?" She was calling to tell me that Paul Burton was still working in the OR and was scrubbed in to help with a surgery that would take several more hours. I asked, "Paul wanted you to call me so I wouldn't worry?" She said, "Yes, and we all think he is such a great guy." Wow, Paul Burton got a lot of points with Mom for that. Then after a day of catching-up on his sleep he took Kathryn shopping for awhile, played on the swings with the girls, and let them watch a movie in his apartment. He's racking up points with all of us.

Kathryn was feeling better this afternoon. Her labs were faxed to her endocrinologist today and after studying them he called to raise her dose of Prednisone. She is starting to have more energy this evening so she played her harp while I rocked Qavah. Her soothing music put Qavah to sleep in just a few minutes. There was much more flag waving and marching for Qavah today. It was an easier day and even the cool temperatures and low humidity helped clear the cob webs from my mind. I'm so grateful for the days of ease. I'm smiling as I remember Qavah marching up the sidewalk, waving her flags, and singing "My cruntry tizzy thee sweet landa liberty!"

Music and Marching

Last night Paul and I took Qavah to the largest church in Roanoke. First Baptist Church downtown has a musical celebration every year called Celebrate America. The music was very good and we had the best time watching Qavah. One song was choreographed using hand-held American flags. She watched with intense interest. Today when we went to the store, Qavah enthusiastically pointed to the display of hand-held flags and told me she needed two of them. I knew what she had in mind! I got them for her and for the rest of the day she has been marching all over the house and yard waving her flags. It has been fun to see her getting into the spirit of the July fourth celebration with her flag waving.

I enjoyed taking several breaks today to watch Qavah. I even found some marching music and played it for her so she could march to a rhythm. As I was watching Qavah I was thinking of how merciful God is to continue to give me sprinkles of joy when I need it.

Perfect Picnic

Today was a delight. There were sixty people throughout our home and land. Especially delightful for me was seeing the children running down to the creek and playing on the swings. I always know I've done a good job if the little children groan when their parents tell them it is time to leave. It was reported to me by my friend who stood guard by the swing set that Qavah behaved like a little princess. She shared her swing set with grace. I was so proud of her for doing that. The cloud cover looked threatening but it helped keep the weather cooler and the rain stayed away until after everyone left.

Kathryn was not able to get out of bed to join us for the picnic. It is not clear to me why her electrolytes are so out of whack. One of her doctors sent me some material on adrenal insufficiency and that could be what this is. Although the endocrinologist has a very busy office, Kathryn hopes to get an appointment this week. His tests would likely show something. This set back is particularly hard because she hoped the seven healthy days in Arizona were the beginning of a new trend. As our family and most of her friends have had to move on with our plans, I see her frustration when she is left behind feeling so miserable. Once again we have to trust that God has a plan and a purpose for this relapse.

A Picnic Rain or Shine

Although Kathryn hasn't been very well today, she seems to be slowly improving. There isn't much we can do for her and she feels best when sleeping. The rest of us are getting ready for a church picnic here at the house tomorrow. The lawn is mowed. The main dish, pork barbecue, is ready. The creek is ready for little feet. The tables are set up on the porches. Am I worried about the sixty percent chance of rain and storms tomorrow? There was a time that I would have worried about it, but a change of perspective has freed me from worry over things I can't do anything about. I think our picnic will be a lot of fun. The picnic is really for a young family leaving for Turkey to serve the Lord there and share His truth with those who are longing for peace. As they face many more dangers than a thunderstorm, we are glad to have them here tomorrow along with some church friends. We used to do this kind of thing several times a year. It seems right to be back hosting an event that will bless our church. They have certainly been a blessing to us.

A Brief Update on Kathryn

Today Kathryn was not as nauseated, but her electrolytes are still off. Her hematologist said that Stimate can do that but she has no choice in the matter. She has to use it. Another friend with a platelet disorder suggested a different drug that her doctor has used for her bleeding episodes so we are looking into that. Her bedsheets had little dots of blood all over them this morning so her body is going through some strange transition. I even wondered if our plane flight could have brought this on. Who knows what her cells do with variable cabin pressure and oxygen? Most of us never notice changes like that. But during our flight, Kathryn did complain about her ears and felt pretty exhausted. It is another event to document and consider. I hope and pray things straighten out for her by the weekend.

There were some sweet surprises in this day. A box arrived from "Cousin Mike." It was pretty well filled with home-made goodies. It was like Christmas in June. Qavah and Kathryn sat at the table enjoying blueberry-filled cookies and I was glad to see both of them able to enjoy the gift. Thanks Mike, and thank you all for praying.

More to Learn

This past Saturday Kathryn woke up with a suspicious back ache; the kind that feels like a pressed nerve. She had bowel bleeding late Saturday and by Sunday a hole had opened up near her ankle and dripped blood. The Stimate was on hand and she used her first dose Sunday night. It helped a little bit on Monday but tonight there is more bleeding along with a terrible headache and nausea. I'm glad she has an appointment scheduled with the GI doctor and the Hematologist this week. Her labs today showed a low red and white cell count which didn't surprise me. It seems things have suddenly turned and there is no obvious reason. She is hoping it is a temporary set-back. The trip to Arizona really helped her to see that good times are still possible even if they come a few days at a time. These set-backs cause us to rethink everything she has eaten, any possible triggers, and of course we wonder if normalcy is possible. We appreciate your prayers. This is such a demanding classroom, and HPS is a hard subject.

Home Again, Home Again

When the kids were little I would pull into the garage after a car trip and say, "Home again, home again, jiggety-jig." I don't know why, but we turned into our driveway last night after our vacation and I found myself saying that for the first time in years. Kathryn laughed because of the memories, and Qavah liked the sound of it. Nevertheless we are home again. The joy we have in our hearts is brimming over. We did unpack the Stimate with laughter because it never did get used. By the grace of God the "what ifs" are now the "never happened." We have had a week of the most delightful surprises and joys that cannot be captured with words. Kathryn is working on a picture presentation to give you a glimpse of our joy and an overview of the trip.

After the last post I wrote, we spent the remaining days in Arizona visiting with the Sipe family. On Sunday and Monday the girls got together and enjoyed each other. (If you are a new blog reader, Kathryn found two other girls in this country with HPS and met them for the first time in Washington DC two years ago. They were also adopted by a family in Arizona and are four years older than Kathryn.) The resemblance between the girls is remarkable. They sat together on a sofa like three peas in a pod. Between the three of them talking there was never a quiet moment. They talked non-stop using similar expressions and hand motions. They were so cute together. Just watching them was fun. When we went to get their pictures made in the Wal-Mart studio the photographer looked at Candice and Crystal and asked, "Twins?" They answered yes in unison. Then she turned to look at Kathryn and asked, "Triplets?" They all started laughing. The girls have such a unique friendship, with the knowledge that they could be sisters. They share an Indian heritage, along with the health challenges of HPS. Our time together was rewarding and Kathryn boarded the plane for home with a satisfied smile that hasn't left her.

Our trip was everything we dreamed about and more. I used to feel gratitude as an emotion on some level. I would describe it as a feeling of satisfaction, like being fed a Thanksgiving meal after being hungry. Since living through the trials we have had to face head-on, gratitude feels more like an overwhelming bubbling joy from a fountain that will never run dry. It is good to feel gratitude on a deeper level and experience the joy of being fully alive.

Crystal, Kathryn, and Candice

Better Than We Imagined

When I was young I would dream of our family vacations and think because we were going to stay at the Flintstone's KOA that Pebbles and Bam Bam would probably be there and I fancied visiting their Bedrock home. We would travel in our family station wagon pulling a trailer and I would sit and dream about the next stop. The problem for me was that my imaginary vacation was actually better than the real thing and I often felt disappointed that the billboard hype was not reality.

However, this vacation is above and beyond anything I could have dreamed. Jim and Vicki have given us the vacation that exceeded our expectations. Their home is a haven. Kathryn took a late night swim in their beautiful pool and got chilled so Jim and Vicki led us over to their backyard fireplace. We sat around the fire telling stories and chatting. Arizona does not have pesky bugs this time of year so we were able to sit out under the stars and enjoy the night sky.

We've seen the majestic beauty of the Grand Canyon at sunset, the mountains and tall pines of Flagstaff, the red rock canyon of Sedona, and the love of our Heavenly Father every moment of every day. We are getting deep restful sleep, good nourishing food, and every need we have is being met. These are the days for which we prayed. These are the peaceful moments that we hoped would be ours one day.

A year ago this week, we were in a small hospital room waiting for Kathryn's surgery. Her bone pain was more than she could handle and we took turns staying with her because it was too hard to watch. In the confines of that hospital room, this trip to Arizona was already planned for us by a loving God Who orders our steps.

In stark contrast to Kathryn's small hospital room, we stood on the rim of the vast open space of the Grand Canyon. The enormous amount of open space gave me the feeling that I am only a very small speck on this planet; my knees were actually shaking. Since I have learned to talk to God right out loud throughout my day, I stood there overlooking the display of His splendor and asked Him, "If Your creation makes me tremble, Lord, how will I ever stand before the beauty of your Holiness?" I will need a new heart to withstand the awe.

Jim and Vicki Campbell, making our delicious breakfast:

The dreams that we dare to dream really do come true:


Having a delicious lunch in Sedona:

No vacation is complete without a shopping trip:

Arizona Rest

Our flight and everything about our trip has been smooth and wonderful. We are staying with family here in Phoenix and their home is an absolute haven. The rest we are getting is rich and satisfying. I have pictures of Jim and Vicki's yard and pool to post after we get home. It is everything we dreamed about when we were wanting to take a vacation from our time of testing! Kathryn took her second dose of Methotrexate today and didn't feel up to doing much. So I shopped for baby food at a nearby grocery store and after finishing our Gerber dinners we sat outdoors when the sun went down. It is a quiet time for our souls; a time we have been longing for. God has certainly blessed us after many difficulties.

Paul is keeping in touch with me daily by cell phone. He put Qavah on the phone today and she told me that she spent the day with Aunt Julie. I asked her if she had a good sleep last night and she said, "Yes! Daddy rocked me in the rocking chair." Paul reported that they both fell asleep in the rocking chair last night. It seems we are all getting the rest we need.

We plan to make our trip to the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, and Sedona over the next two days. We are taking pictures all along the way but will have to wait until we get home to post them. We thank you for your prayers for us. It is such a marvelous feeling to be taking a vacation.

Packing for the "What Ifs"

Kathryn said yesterday that she feels like she's packing for the "what ifs." Therefore, her carry-on bag is filled with extra Prednisone, electrolytes, rib wrapping, Stimate for bleeding, wound care products, pain relief, and a first-aid kit. I thought about that several times yesterday as I saw how light and easy my packing is compared to hers. In Proverbs 31 beginning in verse ten there is a whole list of attributes that describe a virtuous woman. In verses thirteen through twenty-four she is preparing food, clothing, and shelter for her family. In verse twenty-five it states, "she laughs at the days to come." She looks ahead and determines what they may need and then takes great satisfaction in having prepared ahead of time. No wonder she can laugh at the days ahead! I can picture her like the game show contestant who is offered three hundred dollars if she happens to have a paper clip in her purse. Her face lights up, she starts squealing and jumping up and down knowing she has one, fumbles through her purse and pulls out what she is looking for; a big fat paper clip! The crowd claps and cheers with wild applause for her good fortune. (I saw that happen on television once on "Let's Make a Deal" with Monty Hall.)

While I can't imagine Kathryn breaking out into laughter if she has a bleeding episode, I can imagine her grinning and exclaiming, "I've got what I need for this!" She has planned for the "what ifs." But what I am really praying is that at the end of the trip when we are home again unpacking we can laugh and say, "we took it all but didn't need it!"

Keep Dreaming

The last few weeks were lit up with dreams of graduation and a wedding. Now that Kathryn has her diploma, and Heather and Andrew are married, we are turning our attention to the next dream. Kathryn has always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and next week she will have a chance to do just that. We have postponed a trip to Arizona three times because of Kathryn's health but this time we are going to hold on fast to that dream. We have a flight out of Roanoke heading to Phoenix next Tuesday and are praying fervently for good health to take this trip as scheduled. I have already been busy with laundry, packing, and cooking ahead for Daddy and Qavah. They are staying home.

This trip is like the other goals that we have set over the past two years. It is within our grasp, but we won't know until the day we leave how things will be. It is a journey of faith. We often dreamed of these goals while Kathryn was in a hospital bed. In the confinement of a small hospital room, thoughts of the open spaces of the Canyon kept us from going stir crazy. The dreaming transported us to a better place. One of my friends gave Kathryn a coffee table book of pictures of the Grand Canyon and it fueled Kathryn's dreams to be there on the south rim when the sun sets. Lord willing, seeing the Grand Canyon, and visiting with friends in Phoenix next week will be one of our dreams-come-true. But beyond that we need to keep dreaming. One day we dream of going to Israel. Kathryn and I will finish our study of the Psalms of Ascent tomorrow and now we want to see Jerusalem for ourselves. We want to walk the streets where Jesus walked with Mary and Joseph as they returned to Jerusalem every year for the celebration of the feasts. Not every dream comes true, but it is so important for us to have them.

I once met a woman named Pam through a friend of mine. Badly burned and disfigured in a kerosene fire when she was a little girl, her dreams of finding someone who would love her kept her hopes alive through many painful reconstructive surgeries. Then one day in her forties she met the man she had been dreaming of and within a very short time he asked for her hand in marriage. Although Pam is what I would consider a conventional woman, she chose to walk down the aisle to the song, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. My friend who attended the wedding said there wasn't a dry eye in the sanctuary as the words of the song rang out that brought Pam to the altar. "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why, can't I?" Why not, indeed!

We all have dreams of one day doing this or that. Our day to take this trip has come. As our dreams come true, we can feel God's pleasure in them. The joy of our dreams coming to pass spills over into praise for the One Who gave us the imagination and the gorgeous places to visit. Somehow the thought of standing at the rim of the Grand Canyon with Kathryn beside me, after all she has endured, makes me want to break out into the well loved hymn, How Great Thou Art!

Oh Lord, My God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds thy hands have made.
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee,
How great thou art, How great thou art!

Keep dreaming!

The Wedding of Dreams

Heather and Andrew were married Saturday and Kathryn sat right in front for the best view. The wedding was one of the most beautiful we have ever seen. Heather's mom (Kathryn's Aunt Jacquelyn) arranged all the flowers, and I must say they were spectacular. The church was gorgeous. Paul Burton played various instruments as Whitney played the harp. The music reflected the tone of the day; relaxed and joyful. The reception to follow was also very elegant. Many of the family, friends, and bridesmaids, helped with the planning and food preparation. This was a family and community event with many hands to help. With the help of Jane, the wedding coordinator, it was sprinkled with southern charm. I wish we could do it all over again next weekend, but Jackie and John are happily exhausted and Heather and Andrew would probably not wish to return from their honeymoon to run through the whole thing again.

Kathryn had some difficulty with rib pain during the weekend, but it didn't stop her from enjoying herself. Qavah was healthier and had just enough energy to remain enthusiastic and cheerful. After the wedding I took them back to the hotel where Qavah slept for fifteen hours. Kathryn had her ribs re-wrapped, took a hot shower, pain medication, and fell asleep. When she would awaken we talked about the bridesmaids' luncheon and different aspects of the wedding ceremony which was rich in meaning. I was especially touched by the many people stating that they were praying we would be able to attend. All of their prayers were answered.

Last weekend reminded me again that we are not in control of our own lives. We are free to make decisions and we make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. I wanted to be married and said, "Yes," to Paul when I was only eighteen years old, but I didn't have any control over the new family I would enter into. They were God's design and His gift to me. Surrounded by them this past weekend, I appreciated them more than ever. While we may have had minor disagreements as we raised our families, and times of struggle, we have been given the gift of unity. We share the belief that God is Sovereign and we are all born with a purpose. We value each other. We come together with our sorrows and pray for each other one day a month. Then this past weekend we were able to celebrate together in the best possible way.

I have some pictures for you to ponder. But the story behind the pictures is greater than the pictures themselves. The evidence of God's goodness in all of our lives can not be captured in one frame. Here within this family is the story of overcoming, unity, blessings of every kind, and underneath it all are the "everlasting arms," holding us together everyday. The family is a precious training ground for forgiveness, grace, mercy, and love. This is the family I was given by marriage and to which Kathryn and Qavah were given by adoption. I thank God for the picture of His redeeming love that we have been adopted into a family who has received us with open arms. Enjoy the pictures, and be sure to check out Kathryn's website where you will find details about the bridesmaids' luncheon. The memories of this past weekend are tucked in our hearts. Thank you for praying.

Saturday Morning

Good morning! I'm writing from the computer in the hotel lobby. Both Qavah and I are feeling better. Qavah has not had a fever since starting her antibiotics on Thursday night. I wrapped my rib overnight and that keeps the pain manageable.

Mom and I had a splendid day at the Bridesmaid luncheon. We really felt like princesses! I sat at the "grandmothers'" table. It was a blessing to be in their presence. Last night, I rested at the hotel while everyone enjoyed a dinner and leisure evening at my grandparents' home. This morning is the wedding at 11:00 and then we're going to have a mini family reunion at a local lake. The weather is beautiful and our spirits are rejoicing. The Lord has given our family this weekend together; we are making many wonderful memories!

Preparing for the Weekend

I am proceeding to pack and move forward with our plans to go to Charlottesville. I took Qavah to the doctor today and we decided it was time for an antibiotic. Her complete blood count has fallen abruptly and is now 8.3 after a transfusion only two weeks ago. Her fever was one hundred and three again last night. The antibiotic should help her if the fever is coming from bacteria growth. Time will tell.

Kathryn has been able to be up packing her things for the weekend. Her rib is not too painful today. The goal is before her and she is on a mission to succeed! Our house sitter/dog sitter is arriving tomorrow, and best of all, Tiffany cleaned the house today. After I got home from the doctor with Qavah I walked into a clean house. What a huge gift! I am so very thankful for it. We are looking forward to a wonderful weekend and hope to have many pictures and good things to report when we get back.

"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God." II Corinthians 3:5

Enjoy your weekend!

The Force of a Sneeze

Things were going very well over the weekend and Kathryn was enjoying her porch retreat (see Kathryn'sKeepsakes for details). Then yesterday afternoon about two-thirty a sneeze caught her off-guard. She said that after the force of the sneeze she felt something pop in her rib cage and then a troublesome cough started, after which she could not get a deep enough breath. Her breathing seemed labored and she could only breathe while slumped forward. Jennifer had just pulled into the driveway so we found the stethoscope and had her listen to Kathryn's lung sounds. Jennifer said there was not much movement of air in her left lung so we decided to take her to the emergency room at the hospital across town. Jennifer sat in the back seat helping with Kathryn as I drove. We had a good prayer time on the way there; praying for help to come swiftly once we arrived.

Although it was a Monday holiday, within five minutes after arriving at the hospital Kathryn was taken back to a room, put on oxygen, had an IV started, and a chest x-ray taken. She went to the front of the line when she passed out in the lobby and couldn't be roused. The ER doctor read the x-ray and said that her rib must have shifted during the sneeze causing the intense pain. The pain level caused shallow breathing, which caused her to eventually pass out. So after using oxygen for a couple of hours, and a dose of something to cut her pain level down, we started for home, stopping at the Dairy Queen for some much needed refreshment.

Because it is allergy season and Kathryn normally sneezes several times a day, Paul Burton made the decision to wrap her rib cage last night when he got home from work. I told him that it wasn't something that is normally helpful according to the articles I had read, but he said, "Kathryn's body needs to be held together and we are going to do this!" He said it so matter-of-fact, that Kathryn simply relented. He wrapped her rib and then showed me how to unwrap it for showers but instructed me to keep it on her. It actually is helping her. I don't know why all this is happening to Kathryn. She has asked that same question. She still wants to travel to her cousin's wedding this weekend, but has also started to say things like, "...if I have to stay home..."

I think if we all pray and ask the Lord for swift healing, He may say, "Yes!" I know He is able. It would be such a treat for her to get out of the house to celebrate something! Our hearts' desires are to have her with us, enjoying the family, and sharing the memory. Please pray it will be so.

Saturday Night Skit

I went to a youth group meeting one week when I was in junior high school and saw a skit that struck me funny. So funny in fact, that I have never forgotten it. There was this sixteen year old guy lying on the floor about eight feet away from a glass of water that was also on the floor. He looked worn and very thirsty, and pulled himself across the floor as though he were dragging himself though the hottest, driest, desert. As he inched his way toward the cup, he grabbed his throat, and with a parched voice said, "Water....Water!" The closer he got to the cup everyone started to cheer him on. Thinking he was surely going to die before he closed in on the glass I watched carefully wondering how the story would end. As he finally came within reach of the glass of water he stopped, slowly reached into his back pocket, pulled out a comb, dipped it into the water, and sat up combing his hair as though he were Elvis himself. It was a surprise ending to all that drama.

According to Qavah's blood test, her white cells are attacking the bacteria in her bronchial tubes on their own. Her white count is up where it needs to be to fight. Her temperature is still a little high, but the fever is doing its job, creating a hostile environment for the bacteria. Kathryn has still been unable to get comfortable, and is once again feeling trapped by her body. She has very limited mobility because of the cracked rib. Paul and Paul Burton scrubbed the upper porch and I am trying to make her a pleasant place to sit outside. We'll have it finished by tomorrow and Kathryn will be able to get some fresh air and enjoy the sunshine.

Lord, it has been a long week for everyone. There were disasters and hardships this week that took us by surprise. As we inch our way through times that are as dry as the desert, help us to reach for the Living Water, and find in Him refreshment to quench our thirsty souls.

"...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

Encourage One Another

When Your Hut's on Fire

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?"

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

That little story was sent to me today by my sister-in-law, Carrie. She didn't know what kind of day it had been for us but her little story was an encouragement and a reminder that God sees everything we are going through and it is all accomplishing a purpose greater than we will probably ever know.

From the first minute I saw Qavah this morning I could tell by her eyes she was really sick again. Her fever is a hundred and three and refuses to break. I am hoping this is just another little bug, but her blood oxygen level was low enough that Qavah's pediatrician ordered chest x-rays and labs and will call me with results in the morning. While I had Qavah at the hospital, Kathryn was at home struggling every inch of this day. She is having a hard time finding any position comfortable enough to get good sleep. Although it is hard to see hardship day after day, my eyes really do scan the horizon just like a shipwrecked survivor. But I'm looking for the Rider upon a white horse whose banner reads, "Faithful and True!"

Ribs

When ribs are broken, every movement seems to send a shock wave through the body. Such was the case last night when we worked until two in the morning to find a way for Kathryn to get comfortable. The chair worked for awhile, then we found a way to prop her up in bed in a position that seemed promising. By two-thirty she fell asleep and stayed that way until morning. I am expecting her to be able to use her left arm in a few days, but until then I am helping her shower and dress. I asked her if I should get home health care to help for a few days and she responded immediately that only I would do for the bathing and dressing! That's when I had the idea that it was time for a housekeeper. Her name is Tiffany and she starts next week!

During these sleepless nights we have prayed for hundreds of people. The time of prayer has been rich and filled with blessing. Kathryn is a great prayer partner and we are able to name people who just need to be prayed over. Times are tough for many, and we certainly know that when we pray with even the slightest amount of faith, God does great and mighty things. We hope many of you will see answers to prayer in your lives in the days and weeks to come. Suffering always produces something good. We've seen it too many times to doubt it this time.

Our prayers are with David and Lizi as they celebrate the life and home-going of Val in England today. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4.

Pain Mystery Solved

After searching the internet, I kept coming back to the articles on rib fractures. Kathryn's osteroporosis is so profound because of Prednisone use that it seemed like one thing to check. This morning there was significant bruising on the left side of her rib cage and the bruising extended in streaks downward toward her hip. Seeing that, my theory of internal bleeding also seemed to fit so I took Kathryn to the hematologist this afternoon hoping to solve the mystery.

As the doctor examined Kathryn he didn't hesitate to ask me what I thought. After telling him my idea he examined her side, pushed on it a little, and said, "I don't think it is a fracture but I will order an X-Ray." After the X-Ray was read he came back into the room and said, "You were right it is a spiral fracture!" Then he proceeded to tell me that he is learning to trust Kathryn and me when we have a theory. That's a secure man! His goal and mine are the same. We just want to see Kathryn's pain levels lower, and are willing to keep plugging away until there is an explanation. We'll never know what caused the fracture, but the pain began sometime late Friday afternoon as she was getting ready for her graduation recognition party.

There is nothing we can do for Kathryn but to try and make her comfortable. The hematologist told her the rib will mend over the next four to six weeks on its own but he warned her about being extremely careful until the bone has mended. That being said, I would like to ask for special prayer that God would knit Kathryn's rib back together so she can travel to her cousin's wedding in less than two weeks. She told me on the drive home from the hospital that nothing is going to stop her from being there. I would just ask for the wisdom to travel with her, and for her strength. The pain of a fractured rib is tiring for her, but she is determined, and stated emphatically that she is going no matter what!

An HPS Thing

I have been waiting all weekend to write in the hope that things would be better for Kathryn by now. But I'm writing to ask for special prayer again as she battles another round with her cells. This past Friday night we attended a recognition ceremony at the Higher Education Center. Kathryn was honored along with other Mary Baldwin graduates from the Roanoke area and we had a very lovely evening although Kathryn complained a few times about a pain in her left side on her ribcage. I hoped it was just a bruise but by Saturday night she was in so much pain that the whole electrolyte problem returned and I spent the night trying to keep her pain managed and electrolytes balanced.

I now run through a series of questions when these things happen beginning with, "Did you bump yourself or feel a muscle pull?" This particular pain is new and I started to suspect internal bleeding or a cracked rib when the pain level became unbearable. I was reluctant to use Stimate because it can only be used to control bleeding a couple of times a month and I was holding off using it until I saw evidence of bleeding in the form of a bruise. Tonight she was talking with me when she looked down at what she thought was a drip on her leg, and she was bleeding heavily from three tiny holes that opened up on her shin as we were standing in the hall having a conversation. It was a shock, but at the same time we knew it was time for Stimate and gave it to her. Now we are waiting for it to begin to calm her cells down and stop the bleeding. As Kathryn says, "This is the new normal." Please pray that internal bleeding is all this is and that the Stimate will turn things around.

I'll post pictures of Kathryn in her cap and gown later. For now I just wanted to give you an update and ask for prayer. Thank you so much for checking the blog and for praying. Some time in the wee hours of the morning after many tears and prayers she said, "HPS....Human Program of Suffering!" I reminded her that she had almost five good days in a row last week, so we are getting closer to managing the symptoms as they arise. We are thankful tonight that there are drugs available to help Kathryn and they are right here in our home to be used in times like this. Thank you for praying for the specifics. We know God is hearing.

Blog Reader

Over the past twenty-two months, we have been encouraged by the comments left on the blog by all our readers. The days we've been at home or the hospital were bearable because we didn't ever feel alone. The visits from you, our readers, brightened our days and when we heard from you, we would get excited as though you were there with us for a visit.

One of our blog readers lived across the ocean and when she was last in America she told us that she would love to come and have another cup of afternoon tea with Kathryn and me upon her return to the states. Her daughter and husband, Lizi and David, are members of our church and that is how we first met Val. Our Pastor lovingly referred to her as the true Queen Mum.

A couple of days ago Val fell. The result of the fall left her in poor condition and David and Lizi immediately left for England. However, en route to England, they got the news that Val had quietly left this earth, and had graduated to her home in Heaven. It all happened so fast. Kathryn and I needed a good cry when we got the news this afternoon because we had made our plans for our next tea party with Val, and grieved over a dream that would not come to pass.

Val had spent most of her life without the understanding of God's redemption. She didn't know life could be filled with peace until a few years ago when she at last understood the Gospel message and believed that Jesus Christ came, lived, died, and rose again, to bring her troubled soul out of darkness into the light of life. Because of her salvation she sparkled when she spoke. She was excited about everything and her enthusiasm spilled over unto others and we'd find ourselves smiling as she expressed herself. While we cried today for our loss, and for Lizi and David, we are thrilled to think that Val finished her race and has been rewarded for her faith today. The scriptures say that "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord" (2 Cor. 5:6). Val saw our Savior today. She is free from suffering for all eternity. We'll miss Val, but we also know that we will see her again. Our tea party won't be here at the house, but will be moved to a new location.

David and Lizi, I hope you will be able to read this post soon. It is the middle of the night there in England, but many of us here in the states are praying for you. We wish we could be there with you to uphold you and meet your needs. We are happy for you that you are certain of the location of your mother's new home. She is safe in the arms of her Blessed Redeemer.

Pajama Day

Qavah and I had a pajama day. She is still battling a cold with a lot of congestion and didn't feel like doing too much. I had forgotten how liberating it is for a parent when kids wipe and blow their own noses; hasten the day!

Kathryn had a harp lesson this afternoon and afterwards we sat out on our front porch and worked on our Bible study together. We were discussing how it seems we are being trained for something, but we aren't sure what yet. We both know these days at home together are leading us to a new thing. We'll know it when it happens but for now we are studying, resting, and waiting for the Lord to show us what He wants us to do with ourselves.

Although there have been setbacks, Kathryn's health is improving. Her good days are getting better. Thanks be to God! We are looking forward to attending a family wedding at the end of this month in Charlottesville, Virginia. Kathryn and I are going on a trip out west in June. We are planning to go to the Grand Canyon and will visit with Candice and Crystal in Avondale, Arizona. We have so much to look forward to and pray for good health to continue.

Blessings to Keep Me Going

This past Saturday evening I was about to start dinner when I pulled Qavah up onto my lap. As soon as I touched her, I knew immediately she had a fever. A call to the hematologist resulted in our taking Qavah to the ER for a blood transfusion. Her CBC was 5.6. Now that we have learned to read the signs of trouble it didn't take long to get a plan in place for the transfusion. Because things were hectic on the ER floor, we were moved to the pediatric floor around midnight. Paul and I were so hungry we asked a nurse and found out that the Blimpie shop in the cafeteria was open until two in the morning. Paul went for food while Qavah and I got settled in for the night. Qavah slept while we had dinner and because her IV site was irritated the nurse had to slow the transfusion to a four hour drip. We drove home as the sun was coming up. Qavah seemed dazed by it all.

When we arrived home Kathryn had a Mother's Day card for me on our bed that held a gift certificate for a facial and pedicure. I could close my eyes right then and just dream about how that was going to feel after the long night. As if that weren't enough, Kathryn hopped out of bed and turned on her computer. She took me over to her computer chair and sat me down so I could read the surprise message she had left for me on the blog. I was moved to tears. I admired her creativity. I thought it was significant that Kathryn thinks of my hands as "healing hands" especially when there were times she was in so much pain I felt inadequate, never knowing whether my hands could really bring comfort.

I am thankful to have the praise of my children because in many ways they have become my friends over the years, and it means a lot to me that they can remember good times even though there were plenty of struggles. They blessed me abundantly on Sunday with cards, gifts, and joyful hearts. Paul had somehow slipped out of bed and driven to the store in hopes of finding some flowers. When I woke up just before noon I found a bouquet of roses and a wonderful note from Paul on the kitchen counter. I was amazed that he had the strength to do that after being up most of the night.

Those expressions of love have stayed with me all day and fueled my desire to be a better servant. Qavah has been quite sick, and Kathryn is still struggling with the wound on her shoulder from the Hickman site. I had several loads of laundry to wash, so today I got back to doing the things that bring comfort and order to our home, and took care of the girls. I read that a mom would be worth $117,000.00 a year if she were paid for all her housework, child care, and overtime. But we mothers gladly do it all for the joy of knowing we are living out the purpose God has for us. Even in the times when children don't or won't recognize our value, God sees, and knows the intent of our hearts, and it is precious to Him.

To My Mom,

"Her children arise and call her blessed"
And "her husband also praises her"
Proverbs 31 describes many mothers, but
Perhaps the greatest mom I know is...
You

Mama, today is the day I celebrate you
Over and over again, you have given of yourself
Thank you for putting your own desires aside for me
Healing hands and "faithful instructions" bless me daily
Even on this website, your love and compassion is evident
Rest assured, you have many jewels in your Heavenly crown
"She watches over the affairs of her household" describes you.

Down in my heart, I'm thankful you became my mother
A "woman who fears the Lord," like you, "is to be praised"
You are "clothed with strength and dignity" so may you "laugh in the days to come"

(August 2006)

Love,
Kathryn

A New Look

I am feeling so much better today. The crushing toothache of yesterday is a dull ache today, and tolerable without pain medication. We were high maintenance girls this week. I can't remember the sequence of events but somewhere during this week the time had come to pamper Kathryn. She is so delightful and honest. She has given her blessing to post the truth and while some may be shocked by this honesty, others will be blessed.

For the past several months Kathryn has been steadily losing her hair. The high-powered drugs she is taking are a contributing factor and we have yet to find out from the endocrinologist if her thyroid is functioning properly. Improper thyroid function can also be a factor in hair loss. We decided it was time to look for a wig.

We went to the store and while Kathryn sat in front of a three-way mirror, the saleswoman worked on finding a style and length that Kathryn liked. After turning down several styles the saleswoman tried one more and I could see Kathryn perk up, shake her head a few times, take a closer look at the mirror and give me a huge smile. "I feel so pretty, Mom," she said. The saleslady saw us both get teary-eyed and asked if everything was all right. Kathryn answered, "It's just that for almost two years I've been so sick...." and at that point the saleswoman reached down and held her for a long time. She told us that she had been through some health challenges herself and was in a coma for two months. "Everyone thought I would not pull through," she said. We were so moved by her response and compassion. In our brief conversation we all agreed that those trials have made us appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Kathryn has faced each challenge with grace, and we are delighted for her that we live in a time when fancy hair can be purchased.

As we were about to pay for Kathryn's purchase, Qavah looked up and pointed to a wig exclaiming, "Look Mommy there is one for me!" The sales lady took it off the shelf and put it on her head. As she looked at herself in a nearby mirror, she laughed and jumped to make her curls bounce. Other sales people and customers came to see what all the fuss was about. Their faces broke into big grins. So here is the result of a shopping trip that is sure to make you smile. God bless you and have a wonderful weekend.

Pain Medication Rambling

I tried to post yesterday but my thoughts didn't flow very well. I have decided it is a bloomin' miracle that Kathryn wrote her senior thesis while on pain medication! I was sure that I would feel well enough to take Kathryn to her Remicade appointment today and then do something on that side of town with Qavah for four hours. But Kathryn looked at me dubiously and said, "I'm going to call Aunt Julie." The two of them worked out the plan yesterday and today I'm home by myself for several hours with my little ice pack and pain medication. I'm so glad Kathryn had the foresight to make a plan for today. I called the dentist this morning and asked, "Am I still supposed to feel like my jaw has been crushed?" The answer was, "Yes!" So here I am at home praying for swifter healing.

I told Qavah last night that Aunt Julie was going to take care of her for awhile today. She lit up and said, "I LOVE Aunt Julie!" It is precious to me that all of our family members and extended family have made such a great impression on Qavah. She loves them all, and they love her. The love Qavah has been shown the past several months from our family and friends has changed her life and brought healing to her heart.

About six months ago a young woman called me asking about our adoption of Qavah. She heard that it was quick and not costly as many foreign adoptions are. She told me that she and her husband had wanted children for years but it looked like adoption would be the right option for them. They followed the instructions to have a home-study done and then went to the same website where we found Qavah, www.adoptuskids.com. They found two little brothers available for adoption and have been making arrangements to bring them home from another state.

The love of Christ within this young couple will play a huge part in their healing, because the little boys were badly abused and have scars over their little bodies from human bite marks. The thrill in this young woman's voice when she told me the marvelous story of the redemption of these little guys is just the beginning! They have so many joys ahead of them as the children begin to trust them. Our prayers are with this family as they live out their life purpose. I'm thankful that as awful as their start in life was, God had a plan all along for saving these brothers. There are 115,000 more children available for adoption right now in the United States. Thanks to their Heavenly Father who sees even a sparrow fall, two more children have just been found by their God-Appointed mommy and daddy.

Home with the family

My instructions from the dentist tells me that ice is going to be my best friend for the next three days. I am doing well, and so thankful that my time in the dentist's chair today went well. It took two and a half hours to work on my tooth root and jaw so naturally there is some swelling and bruising. But the girls are feeling well. Kathryn has Remicade on Thursday and has not been in pain yet. Qavah needs a transfusion by the end of this week but is still going strong. I can see the sustaining power of God in the details.

Tonight we are going to sit on the sofa and watch a movie. The girls went with Paul to the library to pick out a movie for us. I used to be able to count on them bringing home something we would all enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Care Bears in moderation, but I'm really hoping Qavah doesn't pick tonight's movie.

Sabbath Day Surprise

We decided to sleep in Sunday morning until we felt rested enough to wake up. I woke up at eleven o'clock. The antibiotic I have been taking for my toothache started working and I was able to sleep through the night. Kathryn and Qavah slept as long as I did. We didn't have to be at the Roanoke Civic Center until one-thirty so we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and then went to hear the rehearsal of Verdi's Requiem. It was a wonderful performance ending in a prolonged silence because the audience was not supposed to applaud. On the final notes that ended the requiem, the choir sang the words, "Deliver me." The holy hush in the auditorium was so absolutely perfect. After the long silence, it was the choir that broke into applause. They sang some of the most meaningful words from scripture there are, and it was all about the salvation we have in Christ; a refuge from the wrath of God to come upon those who do not believe Him. It was stunning. Tonight the performance begins in an hour and we are planning to listen to it on our local radio station.

From that rehearsal we went to another fantastic music production at Bonsack Baptist Church. The choir and orchestra performed the same pieces that they will be singing at Carnegie Hall the first of June. The day for us was extra special because the girls were healthy and could enjoy it with us. After the concert we went to the Dairy Queen for ice cream with another family and had a lot of laughs. It was another hallelujah moment when we arrived home at the end of the day having had such a perfect time together. We slept in again this morning, too!

Today the girls and I went shopping for some special things. There are graduations, weddings, and birthdays coming up and many things are needed for celebrating. Kathryn is feeling so much better. Her last Rocephin treatment left her rather flustered. It took two nurses and seven tries to find a vein. So we really did celebrate today. There were many shopping bags in the trunk by the time we got home and both girls could hardly wait for their daddy to get home to "twirl" in their new clothes. They met him out on the driveway and I said a silent prayer that Paul would notice the girls had on something new. He did notice! They bobbed up and down with delight with his praises. It is so important to them that their daddy notices the good things.

Dear Abba Father,
My heart is bobbing up and down like a happy child tonight because YOU have been so good to give us these wonderful moments that stretched into two good days. I am grateful, Father, grateful enough to shout for joy. You see me twirling with delight in my spirit tonight! Thank you for all the bad times that have enhanced the good times by far.

Kathryn and Qavah

The girls have had their challenges this week, but they are both looking better and feeling better. Kathryn has been working diligently on the wound on her shoulder at the site of her old Hickman line and it is looking a lot better. A three hundred voice choir will be singing Verdi's Requiem tomorrow afternoon at the Roanoke Civic Center and we all want to go. Although it is the rehearsal before the Monday night performance, the goal is to sing it all the way through Sunday afternoon from two to four o'clock. Tickets are five dollars at the door with open seating. We have been praying that the Lord will give us a good night and that we will be able to attend the concert as a family tomorrow. Paul Burton is singing in the choir. It's such beautiful and heavenly music that I just want to sit and soak in the beauty of it.

The Women's Brunch was a joyful event. I have always liked to attend events like these because women pay attention to the little details. The tables were decorated with miniature rose bushes and I was given a yellow one to bring home to Kathryn. I enjoyed meeting many new people, and saw some familiar faces, too. My merciful Heavenly Father gave me strength, and I've thanked Him for that. Except for a swollen cheek I don't think anyone would have guessed how much dental work I had done yesterday.

I am turning my attention toward sundown and Sabbath Rest. Next week I have to schedule surgery for myself to correct the problems in my jaw. I don't know what all I will have to do, but that is something to think about next week. Tonight it is good to be at home, happy and content. I wish you all a wonderful day of delicious rest tomorrow. I'm sure we all need it because our Heavenly Father instructed us to take it.

Interesting twists

This morning I woke up to what felt like a mule kick to the jaw. It sent shock waves through my body. I called our dentist early. It was his day off and he was already dressed for the golf course, but he carved out time to open his office to see me. After seeing me briefly at the office he called an endodontist across town and I went in for an emergency root canal. The appointment was very painful because of the angry abscess in my jaw. Realizing that I needed extra novocaine, the endodonist gave me a couple extra shots. Within minutes my heart was racing, I was passing out, and when I finally got my bearings I was in the chair with my eye taped shut, oxygen up my nose, and an elevated heart rate and pulse. The nerve that ran to my eye was deadened and I had no control over it so I couldn't blink. The endodonist was excellent. She handled everything with care and caution. She let me choose the music for the procedure and I chose the easy-listening jazz of Nora Jones. So after that things got better.

What is most interesting to me is that this past Wednesday I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. All went well and a new set of x-rays showed no sign of problems. So where did this abscess come from? With that in mind, I'm going to ask for prayer for the two hundred women who bought a ticket to this event tomorrow. There will be what I hope is a clear Gospel message. Ironically, the topic is, "God's perspective on trials and suffering."

Thursday Night

Upon reflection, today was an excellent day. We were able to join our countrymen for the National Day of Prayer. We didn't have to go anywhere or get dressed up. We were even able to sleep late. Today from the comfort of our own home we were able to be a part of something big. We felt like we were doing our part. The prayers for our nation are of the utmost importance as we are seeing the days that scripture foretold. A day when evil is called "good" and good is pronounced "evil." We didn't have a lot of energy today, but we were able to pray several times.

It is also a very good day when the Home-Health care nurse finds a vein in Kathryn's arm on the first try. We had a nurse today that did an excellent job and she's supposed to come back tomorrow. Kathryn is healing well, and although she is very tired, her body appears to be handling the battle fatigue. It was good to see her up and around for awhile this afternoon. Mom and Dad came down for a harp lesson, and Kathryn was able to join in while they were here. She even sat in on the harp lesson with Whitney and Mom.

I'm grateful for these peaceful days. The blue skies, sunshine, hint of a summer breeze, and a nation at prayer, what could be better than that?

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive sin and will heal their land. 2 Ch 7:14